The Story of Adda

Assalamualaikum people. I’m back.

You know why I started blogging? Cause I’ve got no one to talk to.

Since I was in high school..i blogged about almost everything that I couldn’t tell anyone personally.

Last year, 10/11/2011. I met someone who changed my life.

A person that I trust with all my life.

A person that I tell everything that I didn’t tell even on my blog.

A secret that no one knows. Pain in my heart.. started to fade away.

I feel like i’m being protected. Life was great.

 I smiled everyday. I smiled for him. I was happy because of him.

I cried cause he was is pain. I cried because I don’t wanna lose him.

He said “good listener I am, never judge you I will”.

He always listened to me. It was great cause someone put you first in everything.

We were together all the time. breakfast, lunch, dinner. If we were apart from each other, we texted each other and on skype. I even slept for only one hour just to skype with him.

My life was all about him. I rarely hang out with my friends. I gave excuses everytime they asked me to join them. It was awful..I know.

So..That is the lovey dovey part.

We faced a very depressing phase. I was having some kind of mental breakdown. Fight to survive. Fight to live. Fight to believe that everything will be alright.

I was not alone in this fight. He was with me, but not physically. He went back to his home country during sem break.

 I was in Kedah. Trying to throw away all the bad memories. Trying to stand up again. I was having a very hard time to manipulate my mind. I thought I was crazy. Every night, I put myself to sleep by crying. When the eyes are tired, it closed by itself.

The next morning when i wake up, i don’t know how to start my life. It was too hard to face everyone, especially my mom. I tried to be happy.

Then I realised that, I’ve forgotten something. Why I cry? Why im sad? Life is given by Allah. Everything that happened, there must be a reason. I found my reason , to live again.

New sem begins. I’m alive. But, the scar was too deep. I was afraid with everything. He was with me. always there for me. he cheered me up. After few months, i was totally fine. I can smile. I found myself back.

But, this habits wont go away “cry before sleeping”.