who says

who says you're not worth it
yes adda! who says that?
i don't even care. kenapa nak compare dengan orang lain kan?
jangan pernah kesal dengan apa yang Allah kurniakan kat kita
yang buruk itu,.tak buruk. ada cantiknya.
kalau tak cantik pada semua orang..
cantik pada seseorang.
kita semua ni ciptaan Allah
kawan aku cakap.. masterpiece :)

anyway, recently.. i talked with my friend.
dia ni.. baik. sangat baik :)
kalau cakap dengan dia.. memang dia boleh nasihat orang.
thanks a lot babe. you make me feel BETTER. no!
i FEEL AWESOME :)

ye lah.. betul.. sometimes..
orang suka kritik kita. baik depan atau belakang
aku tetap tak suka di kritik. hohoho
because orang yang kritik tu..
bukan kritik benda yang faedah?

contohnya "adda..cukup2 la tgk korea.. gi la belajar"
wait! noo.. i wont accept this kind of thing as well.
jangan tegur pasal korea!!

errrr.. ok..contoh lain
"adda.. jangan lupa.. mak ayah banyak korban untuk ur future..belajar la"
annnddd
"adda, manage urself well. barang2, duit, phone! jangan careless"

but i won't accept
"apesal muka kau ni pelik eh hidung senget"
orrr
"apesal kau ni tembam sangat eh?"

wohoooo..im healthy! :( i know im not like a papan.
but at least..i still work out ok!
but thanks zayan..u said i look thinner and encourage me to go jogging with cha
that's my girl! :)
even kadang2 zayan ni annoying..hehe.. but..no one is perfect kan.
have to accept that lah .im not perfect too :)

anyway,, letih. letih bergaduh.
hmmmm :( ok fine. salah aku lah kan
aku ni kadang2 bila stress cepat moody
kawan aku cakap.. lately aku ni cepat moody
memang betul. sorry T.T
sakit. sakit sangat rasa.

bukan sakit sebab disakiti.
tapi sakit sebab diri sendiri.

sebab diri sendiri yang takut..
jadi menyakiti orang lain.
teruknya aku ni.
sorry ZR.

after incident 4years ago..
ada banyak benda yang jadi. Betrayal.
i had enough actually.
you are a nice person. move on with your life.
u did nothing wrong. the problem is with me.
i just can't trust anyone else except myself.
i had nowhere to go when people talk about me.
i had nowhere to go to cry. NOWHERE.

right after i read the messaged. i realized that..
u can't even trust the closest person of yours.
they betray you. and you can't even say anything
you just need to smile. bury all those pain
and no one can see it.

i don't want that to happen
tasha was right. Trauma.
Yes, that's the word. trauma.
i'm afraid. that i might hurt someone again
i;m afraid i might lost someone that i care ever again
and i'm afraid that the person said something bout me again
and i'm afraid i might need to hear those thing right in front of my face again
it;s too terrifying alright?

they're way too much. but i just can smile. and laugh.
drama.
but still. i'm strong right. HEADS UP adda c(:

yeah right.. diaorang rasa diaorang attend ceramah tu,,
diaorang dah bagus kan????
biarkan. yes, MOHD R***Y... now see what happen to u.
what??? this is what u said to me "kak A**, adda ni still buat perangai ke?"
and why that kak avoid your question???? talking bad behind me.
truth reveal. you're so bad.

and yes. everyone there betray u. u got nowhere to run except to me.
and what i should do is.. "senyum. sabar. ni dugaan"
deep down in my heart. i feel nothing
marah. tak. sedih. tak. kasihan. tak. nothing. heartless.